Ever wake up some days, look at your life and wonder how on earth you've become that person starring back at you in the mirror? You suddenly realize that you are a different person from the person you thought you'd ever be?
I had one of those moments this morning, a "who am I?" moment. Looking in that mirror all I saw was a stranger, and that stranger made me feel oddly uncomfortable. As I tried to determine why I've suddenly become a stranger to even myself, I realized it's because I see things within me that I never thought I'd see. I see sins, attitudes, desires, thoughts, dreams, feelings, needs, wants, pains, joys, strengths, weaknesses - and nothing I see there, both the good and the bad, really matches the "Andrea" that I ideally hoped or planned to be by Monday Nov 28/05.
Here's the big question: Is being the person I hoped to be at this point in my life as important as being the person He has refined me to be or is refining me to be today? Does truly surrendering all of my plans to Him mean having to constantly be surprised when I see that "stranger" in the mirror?
Perhaps the uneasiness and disappointment I feel today has nothing to do with not being able to recognize that "stranger" in the mirror and more to do with my unwillingness to surrender and ultimately accept His plans for me and my life.
