Sunday, October 22, 2006

Lessons from Auntie Diva

(Julia poses with one of her many subordinates:)

Diva Lesson #9
Dealing with our Subordinates
Being a diva often requires having to work with diva wannabes, who although they try, could never match our level of divaness. We must however learn the different techniques on how to deal with those who clearly lack the grace, wit, charm, and cuteness that we so naturally exude.

Tips on how to deal with our subordinates
1. A subordinate observes the way others fall at your feet (especially the boys), and she craves the same kind of attention, which can cause her to act in ways that can be very annoying. If a subordinate ever annoys you to the point where you think you may lose your cool, arrange with the director to have him/her assign "Little Miss. Subordinate" a ridiculous looking costume that makes her look even more subordinate. (see above photo)

2. You may occasionally catch the subordinate secretly trying on your tiara in the dressing room. Simply approach her, smile and politely say, "I'm terribly sorry, but the director asked me to remind you that subordinates generally don't have tiara privileges; however because I'm so nice and really do like you, I will allow you to admire me as I wear my tiara." Then simply snatch the tiara from her head put it on your own and allow the subordinate to ooo and aaaah at your beauty.

3. When being photographed the subordinate will usually be caught in the most unflattering of poses, usually with her mouth wide open struggling with all her might to attempt the same high F that just naturally flows from your voice with such ease and grace. Remember being photographed next to a subordinate, only makes you look all the cuter in comparison. (see above photo)

4. Never feel threatened while the subordinate tries to upstage you in any way she can. Just smile look pretty and work your diva charm. No matter how hard the subordinate may try, next to you she'll always appear second rate. (see above photo)

Having subordinates around us can really only enhance our divaness.
So I say, Bring on the subordinates diva sister!!

Saturday, October 21, 2006

The gift of prayer

The more I grow in my faith, the more I realize what a precious gift prayer is. Tonight after church someone asked "Can I pray for you?" and then began to lift me up in prayer right then and there. There is something that is always so encouraging when I hear someone else petitioning to the Lord on my behalf. Prayer is such an incredible act of faith, and I am so blessed to know some people who truly comprehend that prayer is an action that, despite its use of words, speaks way louder than words. Thanks for the gift of prayer God.

Friday, October 20, 2006

One Year Later

One year ago today I wrote this in my journal: "Well the time has come for Jen to have her baby. She's been induced and hopefully I will be an Aunt within the next 24 hours. What an absolute miracle!! We are all bursting with anticipation and excitement. What a blessing this little baby will be to our family. Thank you God for the way you have moved so far. I thank you for the new life that will be coming into this world within the next 24 hrs. You are a God who reigns over all. I ask for your hand of protection over both Jennifer and this little baby as they endure labour. Keep them both safe and give them the strength to endure. My beautiful sister is going to be a Mom. Wow! This is a moment we've been dreaming of since we were little girls. And now it's here, only this child will have a personality, a will and a soul that You have created. We could never have imagined this little person in our own minds because you Lord have created this child in Your image. I can not wait to meet Your new creation. I praise You and adore You for all that You are and for all that you are changing me to be. Amen." - October 20, 2005

One year later and I know more of who God is because He has given our family Julia. She is such a joy. She's precious and beautiful. I look at her time and time again and marvel at His workmanship. I smile more. I enjoy the little things more, I laugh more. Thank you God for showing me how precious and how fragile life is as You have blessed me with the opportunity to experience life through Julia's eyes over the past year. This beautiful little girl has softened me, has inspired me and has reminded me of how special my family is. I have been able to grasp a greater comprehension of what your unconditional love for me is like too. I have always just loved Julia for who she is, because she is. Loving her before she was born and loving her today. Knowing Julia has changed me in more ways than I could ever have imagined a year ago. You have showered us with the greatest blessings. Thank you for her tiny high pitched voice that says "Auntie". For her contagious giggle. For her sociable nature as she says "hi" to every stranger she sees at the grocery store. Thank you for her kisses, and for the way she puts her head down on your lap and says "nap" when she's tired. Thank you God for all that you have created her to be and for all that you are changing her to be. I pray that she will always be a reflection of Your beautiful image. Amen
- October 20, 2006


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

you of little faith

Last night I dreamt that I was drowning. I got out of a small wooden boat, took a few steps on the water and then suddenly sank and found myself under the water struggling to make my way back to the top. All I remember thinking as I raised my hands up to the surface was, 'Jesus aren’t you going to save me?'

This morning as I thought about the dream I couldn't help but think how relevant it was. Yesterday I had a day where I felt like Peter at the point in Matt 14, when as he was walking on the water towards Jesus he saw the wind, became frightened and began to sink. As I continued to think about the dream today, I couldn't help but wonder why Jesus would let me sink and then grasp and struggle like that? Clearly I was like Peter and didn't have enough faith to stay on the water, but would Jesus let me drown? I honestly found myself to be quite angry.

After stewing about it all day, I finally turned to Matthew 14 tonight, to see how Jesus responded to Peter's lack of faith:
Peter said to Him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." And He said, "Come!" And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" Matt 14: 28-31

Jesus immediately took hold of Peter when he called out to him. Peter didn't even go beneath the water. Jesus caught Peter without delay. That was a good reminder for me that even though my faith seems to be dwindling here day by day and it feels as though I am sinking, Jesus will not let me drown. I have called out to Him over and over and I know that He has already stretched out His hand and taken hold of me .

Clearly my dream is an apparent reflection of my current depletion of faith. How is it that I would come to believe that Jesus would let me drown like that? Now that I have been reminded of the truth, that Jesus has a hold of me and will not let me drown, I guess that leaves me to answer His question:
"You of little faith, why do you doubt?"

Saturday, October 14, 2006

I've had enough

I’ve had enough to break me in two,
To tear me apart, what am I to do?
What else can I do?

So sing me a song, let me hum along
At the top of my lungs, while I come undone.
What else can I do?

What can I do?

- David Crowder (B Collision)

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Faith means waiting on God

I've been re-listening to a series by James MacDonald on Faith. It's a series on Hebrews 11. There's a sub section of the series called "Faith= Waiting on God." So I pulled it up in my podcasts last night and began to listen. It's no doubt extremely relevant for this season in my life. This week was rough, the waiting seriously got to me. I began to fuss but was quickly reminded as I listened to the series that I have to be careful not to fall into the traps of unbelief that can arise as we wait on God. James MacDonald looks at the life of Abraham as an example of someone who waited in faith. So most of his sermon really comes out of Genesis. J Mac always uses a clear delivery that I can completely identify with. God has given him an incredible ability to just lay it out there- no frills, no trills just truth.

"The no.1 tool in God's tool chest for forming our character is the chisel of waiting."

"Waiting is the process by which God makes us spiritually fit to receive what He has all along determinded to do. God's love is not a pampering love, it's a perfecting love and the decisions that God makes in His sovereignty are for your ultimate good and for the good of His kingdom purposes."

"If you're waiting on God for something, don't you think that God is off some place else, or that somehow everything is in neutral and that you're just flipping pages on the calendar, Not at all!! God is making you spiritually fit to do the thing that He is determined to do in your life!!!"-

- Waiting is not passive or standing still, it's active. Faith allows us and requires us to do things. ( Call of God to Abraham. Everything God promised was about the future, yet Abraham still got up immediately and went - Gen 12)

- Waiting does not mean that we should put our minds in neutral. God is teaching us while we wait. We shold be learning things while we wait on God (Why didnt' God give Sarah a baby earlier? - to heighten the miraculous and to prepare her to recieve.)

Three things we do instead of learn while we wait:

1. Force it. -I'm tired of waiting so I'm going to do it myself (i.e Sarah & Ab brought Hagar into the picture - Gen 16)
2. Fake it. (Ab asks God if Ishmeal can be the descendant to receive the special blessing-Gen 17:18)
3. Fuss about it or get bent. (Sarah laughs in her old age when God tells her that she would have a baby. Gen 18.)

- Waiting is not looking around at the moment, it's looking ahead by faith. It means dreaming a dream for the future and making choices of integrity that will reflect a generational obedience.

- Waiting is not clinging to the promise, it's clinging to the provider by faith. (Ab got attached to the promise, Isaac, the evidence of the miracle rather than the provider of the miracle. God asked him to sacrifice Isaac, to remind him that He must cling to the Provider. Gen 22. ) God doesn't want anything to take his rightful place of priority in our lives. God will not compete. God doesn't want us trusting in the things He has done, he wants us trusting in Him.

"Don't get attached to the way you think that God is going to do it, but always keep your eyes on the Lord. Any place else is a dangerous place to be. Look to the Giver Himself and trust that He will do it His way."

I am thankful to be in a season of waiting. I'm not so much enjoying being "chiseled at" these days :) but I do know that like Abraham and Sarah, He is making me spiritually fit to receive His incredible blessings.

Friday, October 06, 2006

kissy kissy

It's a well known fact in my family that I am not a touchy feely kind of diva. Growing up, I never minded hugs so much, but kisses used to completely gross me out. I've gotten better over the years, but I have to admit I am a little obsessive compulsive when it comes to germs, especially when they are germs that belong to someone else. I used to always wonder who came up with the idea of deliberately exchanging germs in order to show affection. My family used to laugh at me when I was a kid and thought that my outright resistance to kisses was hilarious. They would often chase me around trying to give me kisses. When they got a hold of me, they'd purposely give me slobbery nasty wet kisses on my cheek, which was absolute torture. (and they wonder now, how I came to be such a looney tune:) I would usually make a big deal, wipe my cheek and run to the washroom to scrub the slobber off with soap and water. That being said, birthday's and Christmases were a germ nightmare for me.

As I've become an adult my family has learned to respect me and my personal germ space bubble and don't really kiss me at all. My grandpa, who although he never said it, was the same way when it came to kisses. He respected my dislike so much that he got to the point where he would affectionately shake my hand on the special occasions that called for a kiss. It sounds strange but really it’s all good. I really don’t need kisses to know that my family loves me. My Dad still teases me though and tells me that he can’t wait for my wedding day when the pastor will say to my new husband, “You may now shake the bride’s hand.” (I’ve never really explained to my Dad that boy kisses don’t fall into the “ewwww nasty kiss” category . . . meh, I say that what Daddy doesn’t know won’t kill him :)

This past year I have noticed that my feelings on wet slobbery kisses have drastically changed. It’s quite clear that being Auntie Diva has changed me in many ways, but never did I imagine that I would be asking for slobbery wet kisses from someone. If a stranger were to see me with Julia they would have a hard time believing that I have germ issues. Julia’s kisses are to me the best kisses in the world, and believe me they are the slobberiest, wettest kisses known to mankind. For a while she was like a little puppy and would lick my cheek when I asked for a kiss. Now she just lays it on, drool and all (the above photo shows Julia preparing to give Auntie a kiss:) She makes the cutest little “mmmmwa” noise when she gives a kiss too. It’s so sweet and extremely irresistible. Today, Jen laughed when I kept asking Julia for kisses. My sister can’t believe that I, the germaphobe freakazoid who once jumped in a lake fully clothed to avoid a kiss, was now begging for slobbery wet Julia kisses. Oh, Auntiehood, how it can change even the most un-touchy, un-feely germ freak of a Diva. :)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I'm ready to lose it.

I'm not entirely sure how much longer I can endure this stagnant life of waiting. I feel that I have no purpose. I’m not making a difference in this world. I sit and watch the time go by. I watch other lives move around me, and I in contrast sit paralyzed unable to move. I'm beginning to feel foolish. I'm beginning to lose hope. I've learned that no one really cares and quite frankly I've stopped caring too. Many whom I thought were friends have shown otherwise, but that I grieved and came to terms with several weeks ago. I'm just not understanding why this season of stale waiting is upon me. I look for ways to occupy my time, but even when I'm doing something that seems to have purpose it still feels as though it is just to pass the time. I'm tired of spending so much time with myself. If something needs to be done before I go, I'm willing to do it. But I have yet to get any clear answers from God. I've cried out time and time again. I've cupped my ear to hear His voice, but there are no concrete answers. How is it that I could be so close to a dream and then only be forced to wait some more? It's honestly beginning to feel like a cruel joke. I'm starting to get angry. I'm beginning to feel slightly depressed. I'm becoming more aware of how little faith I have as I feel it weaken day by day. Have I heard wrong? Have I made a mistake? Should I be making other plans? How long will this last and how long will I be able to endure without completely giving up?

Letting go

Letting go of the illusions that I've built up in my head.
Letting go of all my words both spoken and unsaid.

To grasp, to cling to something that will only disappoint
has been the greatest cause of my heart and soul's disjoint.

Letting go will always be a hard and desperate thing
But I do know that when I let go, there's more room for my King.

So here it is, my Lord, my God, I give this up to You,
and ask that You replace the lies with your loving truth.

Set me free of all the pain as I lay this at Your feet,
and show me that without Your love all I am is weak.

My God you are the one true constant in my life,
The lover of my soul in sorrow, pain and strife.

I offer you my heart and mind as I sing Amazing Grace,
because I know that even when I let go I'm safe in Your embrace.