Monday, August 25, 2008

Believing the words I sing

Ever find yourself singing words to a song that you don't believe but so desperately want to? Ever find yourself singing those words louder and louder hoping that your heart will hear them and believe them? I have.


ENOUGH
- Chris Tomlin
All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough
You are my supply My breath of life
And still more awesome than I know
You are my rewardworth living for
And still more awesome than I know
All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough
You're my sacrifice Of greatest price
And still more awesome than I know
You're the coming KingYou are everything
And still more awesome than I know
More than all I want, More than all I need
You are more than enough for me.
More than all I know, More than all I can say
You are more than enough for me

Monday, August 18, 2008

My Nephew Lucas

The Little Diva is a Big Sister.
Auntie Diva is in love again.

Friday, August 08, 2008

08/08/08

So this was the fortune in my fortune cookie today. When I first looked at it, I had to laugh because that's exactly the philosophy I've been trying to instill in myself this past year. . . But when I actually saw it printed in black and white on that little white piece of paper from the far East Fortune Cookie Co. it just made me so sad. I really can't imagine having no expectations whatsoever. I guess I equate expecting with hoping and I just can't imagine my life without hope. I think if I wrote the fortune I'd write this:

Expect nothing from noone but God
and never be disappointed.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Vulnerability

Making oneself vulnerable takes not only a lot of energy, but also a lot of trust. Whenever I make myself vulnerable it feels as though I've deliberately set off enormous sticks of dynamite blowing up my security walls into a million teeny tiny pieces; The security walls that I tend to build up around myself to protect me from pain and judgement.
Vulnerability requires a swift KA-BOOM!!! A willingness to suddenly stand with no walls to hide behind. Just me, with all my walls crumbled to the ground around me, With nothing to protect me from the shots that may come my way. The explosion leaves me standing there long enough for the rest of the world to peek out from behind their own walls to see me.

As an artist I suppose I see it as part of my job description to explode my own walls. In my opinion the most powerful art comes out of vulnerability. Really though I know it's not just my job to be vulnerable because I'm an artist, but more so because I'm a human being.

I wonder what the world would be like it we all regularly blew up those walls with dynamite or dared to NOT even build them in the first place. I don't put a lot of hope in that though, because apparently dynamite is not easy to come by. And bricks are produced in surplus. For some reason though God tends to hand me the dynamite quite a bit. Not only does He hand it to me, but He asks me to light it and watch the walls that I've worked so hard to build crumble.