One thing I've been experiencing a lot lately are those strange reunion type interactions where nothing is spoken, but there's a lot said. I'll walk past an old school colleague or even teacher in the hall at work; people who I used to talk with or work with and I'll wait for the other person to say something. A panicked "I don't know what to say" look is given, but nothing is said. Perhaps my staring them down waiting for them to say something doesn't help:) Sometimes I think they are trying to remember where they know me from. Other times I know they know me, but we'll head off in opposite directions nonetheless. Or yesterday for example I was briefly in the same room with several people I used to label as "friends". Most of those people clearly saw me, they even looked me right in the eyes, but didn't bother making a point of acknowledging me with even a simple "Hi".
I suppose I'm realizing that in the past I've always been the one to automatically try to erase the awkwardness by saying something, but these days I find myself in no mood to have meaningless conversations especially with people who are clearly uncomfortable. I guess I'm realizing that I want nothing to do with organized superficial interactions, there's really no depth or truth to any of it. It's so easy to be fooled into believing that there is some meaning there. I used to think that my acknowledgment of others despite an awkwardness made a difference. I'm beginning to see that it never did.
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