A new technique

Yesterday I had my first singing lesson with a voice teacher here in Winona Lake. Starting lessons with a new teacher has never been fun for me. Whenever I meet with a new teacher and start approaching my singing using their specific technique it feels as though everything I've learned up till now has been meaningless and useless. It's almost as though I have to toss aside everything I've learned about breathing, placement, sound production, vowel modification etc. and start at the very beginning. Any confidence that I have with respect to my singing is completely stripped away. Yesterday as I starred at the all too familiar vocal anatomy posters that every singing teacher has on their studio wall, attempting with all my might to do the vocalises that Don had given me, I felt like a complete amateur. I found myself questioning why it is that I would ever think that I could sing in the first place. It's so strange to be in this position again after so many years of serious training. The process of integrating a new technique is grueling and will take months of hard work. A lot of squawking, screeching and many frustrations are ahead. Yet I know that if I want to improve, this work needs to be done. I know that if I endure this frustrating work, that in a few months I'll hear changes in my voice. I will come to see how the new technique is helping to override some of the natural tendencies in production that may be hindering me from being the singer that I could be. Even though it feels like this is a step backwards I know that this is a good thing for my singing.

It's interesting that I'd be experiencing the grueling "joy” of learning a new singing technique during this season in Winona Lake. The whole stripping away of all that I find comfortable; experiencing feelings of frustration; feeling useless, and discouraged; and realizing how very amateur I am are happening in all areas of my life lately, not just singing. Since arriving here, I've felt like God is trying to teach me a new “technique”, something that in the end will change me and will help to override many of my natural tendencies that may be hindering me from being all that I could be in Him. As I struggle to endure, the only thing that is keeping me from falling apart here is knowing that everything that God allows is good. No matter what, He promises that He will change us, not just change us but transform us into His likeness. I know that if I follow through and grapple with the challenges in my life right now, that in a few months time, just like with my singing, I will see transformation in my life. Even though it feels like my life is dis- jointed in everyway, I know that this is a good thing for me.