Thursday, January 08, 2009

Said and Done

So, sometimes . . . ok, most of the time I don't say exactly what I mean to say to people. I water my thoughts down, edit my words, and try not to fully bombard people with my feelings. Well yesterday, it so happened that by accident an unedited e-mail conversation between my friend and I was sent to someone who I ordinarily would re-edit and re-edit my exact words to . . . the conversation was actually about telling the accidental addressee what I was thinking and I was trying to get this person's e-mail address. . . so I would have shared my thoughts, just not in such a blatantly honest way.
Once I discovered that this person was now fully aware of my un-edited thoughts I was embarrassed. It revealed a real vulnerability and weakness of mine in a true unaltered light. . . . I was certainly not ready to be so vulnerable with such a person.
As I thought about it more. . .perhaps full blown honesty was exactly what was needed to get my point across. I really shouldn't be embarrassed, but am - and now it all comes down to pride.

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