Friday, July 20, 2007

How Kelly Feels is how I Feel

The topic of singleness came up last weekend at our female only MasterWorks devotional time. One of the faculty who was in her 50's and had never been married got up and expressed so eloquently and honestly the fact that our society, particularly the Christian culture , sees those who are married as the winners while those who aren't married or never marry are considered the losers. She shared how she constantly has to fight this idea that she's a loser because she doesn't have the "marriage trophy" on her mantle.
I was listening to Kelly Clarkson's new album My December today and was reminded of that praticular winner/loser notion.(Yes I actually like Kelly Clarkson:) I'm so loving the song How I Feel. Boy, do her feelings ever resonate with me. How gutsy and honest of Kelly Clarkson to put this song on the album. It's easy to see singleness as a flaw and it takes so much energy to fight the lie by attempting to convince ourselves and others that we're not losers because we haven't found the right man or aren't on our way to marital bliss.

How I Feel (Kelly Clarkson)

looks like I made a mess again
heartbreak everywhere I step
this fire is getting hot again
but I touch the flame 'cause
I'm a curious cat
creeping where I don't belong
finding out what I knew all along
crying all alone
and it's all my fault, all my fault

yeah, I did it again...again

oh, I'm getting tired of believing
even sicker of pretending
that it's not so bad, just wait it out
oh, I think you're feeding me lies again
the only good man left wasn't him
and that's how I feel right now
so just let me be, let me be.

It seems every time I find a good man
he's got a good little wife
I'm not jealous but I won't lie
I don't want to hear about your wonderful life
and babies everywhere I look
trophy wives with their little black books
at this rate I'm gonna end up alone
it's probably all my fault, all my fault

oh, another dead end: again
oh, I'm getting tired of believing
even sicker of pretending
that it's not so bad, just wait it out
oh, I think you're feeding me lies again
the only good man left wasn't him
and that's how I feel right now

bitter pill that I've swallowed
just how low can my heart sink
fairy tales from so long ago
save them for someone that's not smart enough to know
'cause I, I'm getting tired of believing

I'm through pretending
yeah I'm broken and sad so I'll sit this one out
oh i think you're feeding me lies again
the only good man left wasn't him
and that's how i feel right
now let me be.

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