Sunday, December 10, 2006

commitment to my commitment

"The key to successful ministry is hearing from God, seeking reconfirmation if necessary, then wholeheartedly persevering in what we believe He said. We must persevere in our commitment to Christ, not in our commitment to our commitment."
Beth Moore - Believing God – Day 2 Week 8

While doing my believing God homework this week, this quote jumped out at me and left me to really reflect. Over the past few months perseverance has been a key part of my daily routine. Persevering while waiting for the work visa, fighting with what very little faith I had not to completely give up on what I believed to be a calling that God put on my life. And now that I've started my work at Cpaf the need to persevere has become more relevant for me. I wake up every day and look at my calendar. I have actually started marking the days off with big "X's” counting the days until my official commitment as a Cpaf intern will end. I have never ever marked days off on my calendar before, but marking the big "X" across a day makes persevering a little easier. I have spent a lot of time imaging what would happen if I packed up my things and just went home for good, and then I remember all the people I'd be letting down and how I owe it to them to stick it out. No doubt, the reason why it's been so hard here has a lot to do with the fact that I've been focusing too hard on persevering in my commitment to my commitment rather than in my commitment to Christ. Looking at the “X’s” on my calendar confirms nothing about what God has reconfirmed to me over and over about my calling as an artistic missionary. I think it’s time I start focusing on THE Cross, rather than on the many meaningless crosses on my calendar.

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