Revival

"The stone that has been encasing my heart has been cracked.  
The Lord took a chisel and a hammer and when I asked, He did His work."
- Jan 23, 2000

This is a picture that I drew 11 years ago.  I'll never claim to be any sort of visual artist, but I drew it in my journal at the time when God got a hold of my heart and lead me to become a Christ follower, so for me it's significant. 

Lately God has been working on my heart in what feels like the same way.  Over the past few years I have slowly rebuilt that cold hard stone casing around my heart.  A casing that would eventually confine and constrict my heart.  Bottom line, I allowed my life circumstances and my experiences to stir up an ugly cold concrete composed of the grit and shale of hurt, pain, resentment, unforgiveness, disappointment, and discouragement.  I dumped that concrete around my heart, walked away, and let it harden.   It just seemed easier to let the dingy, gunky, cold, hard stone remain.  Despite the fact that I knew the One with the chisel and hammer, I gave up. I resisted that swift hard blow that could have shattered that stone in an instant.  I ran away from God.  I was so tired of failing,  so tired of fighting and so tired of holding on that I made the decision to let go.  I CHOSE to let go of my God and in doing so I was plunged into quite a scary place of darkness.   Not the kind of darkness I knew before knowing Christ because this time I was constantly aware of a light that radiated a glare that hurt my eyes as I huddled in the dark... My God was there waiting with the chisel and hammer, but I rebelled and refused Him.    I let go of Him and like a child I closed my eyes, plugged my ears and sang out loudly "la la la la la!" hoping not to hear or see Him.

The amazing thing is that He certainly didn't let go of,  lose sight of , or stop listening to me.  He wouldn't shatter the stone around my heart until I asked Him, but He certainly held on tight to me.  He pursued and pursued and ceaselessly pursued me.  He poked.  He prodded.  He convicted. He opened my eyes and He gently removed my hands from my ears.  But most importantly, He simply just loved me.  He allowed me to fall and fail but was determined to constantly remind me that I was His forever.

And the most beautiful thing?  When I finally allowed Him to shatter the stone, He forgave me.  The thought of such amazing grace truly overwhelms my liberated heart. 

"The stone that has been encasing my heart has been cracked.  

The Lord took a chisel and a hammer and when I asked, He did His work again."

- July 20,2011

It's been a while huh?

Well... I guess it's fair to say that I can't really consider myself a blogger anymore, seeing that it's been well over a year since my last post.  There are a lot of reasons why I stopped blogging,but I feel a little like this blog is incomplete.... like it needs one final post before I can pack it up, put it away in the attic and move on.  So I suppose one more is on it's way.

Music

This is such a fascinating description of Music.   My girlfriend wrote it out in a card for me a long time ago and I just came across it today.   I can see how one might choose to worship the art form itself as opposed to the Creator of such a powerful language. 

I am music, most ancient of the arts.  I am more than ancient; I am eternal.  Even before life began upon this earth, I was here - in the winds and the waves.  When the first trees and flowers and grasses appeared, I was among them.  And humanity came, I at once became the most delicate, most subtle and most poerful medium for the expression of emotions.

In all ages I have inspired people with hope, kindled their love, given a voice to their joys, cheered them on to valourous deeds, and soothed them in times of despair.  I have played a great part in the drama of life.  Through my influence, humanity has been uplifted, sweetened and refined.  With the aid of humanity, I have become a fine art.  I have a myriad of voices and instruments.

I am in the hearts of all and on their tongues, in all lands among all peoples, the ingnorant and unlettered know me, not less the rich and the learned.  For I speak to All, in a language they all can feel.  Even the deaf hear me, if they but listen to the voices of their own souls.  I am the food of love.  I have taught people gentleness and peace; and I have led them onward to heroic deeds.  I am comfort for the lonely, and I harmonize the discord of crowds.  I am a necessary luxury to all.  I am Music.
- Anonymous

A few of my favourite things

I'm generally not one to endorse products, but in the past month 2 random products have proven themselves to be worth a mention. Both products get the Diva Stamp of approval (kind of like the Good House Keeping seal but better cause it has nothing to do with house keeping:)

The first -Yaktrakers Pro. As a walker/runner I find the winter months to be difficult. Over the years I have figured out what to wear to keep warm while power walking and running. It's the slippery snow and ice that has frustrated me to no end. Before Christmas I pulled a muscle after losing grip on some hidden ice and I was ready to give up and attempt to be motivated by DVD's alone - Until I heard about yaktrakers. They're these coil rubber things that slip on over your runners. They grip to the ice and snow to prevent you from sliding. I was skeptical when I saw them on the Shopping Channel, but did some research, and found them at my local running room so decided to pick some up. And Yaaaay! they actually Work!!!! I thought they'd make the walking/running awkard, but they don't. Albeit they're not very attractive - they could use a little more sparkle or colour, but they certainly help make my wintery interval training easier! And I have to admit I secretly do kind of enjoy being able to zip quickly past those other random walker/runner people on my path with an ' in yo face slippery sucka!' kind of strut:)

The second dreamy product - Bath and Body Works look ma, new hands moisturizing hand lotion. Being a teacher trying to avoid all the kiddy germs I have to constantly hand wash and sanitize. This fall I have found my hands to be more dry than normal. (probably as a result of the overuse of the sanitizer with the H1N1 paranoia ) I've tried lots of hand creams which mostly leave a greasy residue forcing me to wash it off within minutes. I got look ma, new hands as a gift from a student and I LURVE it! It keeps hands super soft, smooth, supple and best part - it isn't greasy. It's apparently the paraffin in the cream that makes the difference! Whatever the magical potion is, it's worth the little over the top for hand cream Bath and Body Works price. I'll admit that I can't help but caress my own hands throughout the day cause they are so dang soft! Creepy? A little, but trust me, if you used look ma, new hands you would be a creepy hand caresser too!

So what are you waiting for? Come, join the "in yo face slippery sucka!"/ creepy hand caresser club:)

Cantique de Noël

My favourite Christmas carol by far is and always has been O,Holy Night. Even before I could comprehend the depth of the words, the song always gave me chills. I remember hearing it as a child at midnight mass and even when it was the warbly past her prime Lithuanian church soprano singing I'd still be moved. It didn't feel like Christmas eve to me unless I heard that carol.

Now, I am often asked to perform the song, and it still gets me everytime. I find myself getting emotional by the words, words that hold so much truth and are far more personal to me now. Even when I'm just on my own practicing the song I get chills (not because I sound great either, often I sound like a dying chicken:) The words are just so powerful. I've never sung the carol in french eventhough it is the original language. I've starting learning the french version though as I've been asked to sing it en français for a small gig next weekend. . . the English words are similar, but there are a few images that speak that much more powerfully in french - so moving! Looking fwd to sharing the carol in both english and french this season:)

Minuit, chrétiens, c'est l'heure solennelle,
Où l'Homme-Dieu descendit jusqu'à nous
Pour effacer la tache originelle
Et de Son Père arrêter le courroux.
Le monde entier tressaille d'espérance
En cette nuit qui lui donne un Sauveur.
Peuple à genoux, attends ta délivrance.
Noël, Noël, voici le Rédempteur,
Noël, Noël, voici le Rédempteur!

De notre foi que la lumière ardente
Nous guide tous au berceau de l'Enfant,
Comme autrefois une étoile brillante
Y conduisit les chefs de l'Orient.
Le Roi des rois naît dans une humble crèche:
Puissants du jour, fiers de votre grandeur,
A votre orgueil, c'est de là que Dieu prêche.
Courbez vos fronts devant le Rédempteur.
Courbez vos fronts devant le Rédempteur.

Le Rédempteur a brisé toute entrave:
La terre est libre, et le ciel est ouvert.
Il voit un frère où n'était qu'un esclave,
L'amour unit ceux qu'enchaînait le fer.
Qui Lui dira notre reconnaissance,
C'est pour nous tous qu'Il naît, qu'Il souffre et meurt.
Peuple debout! Chante ta délivrance,
Noël, Noël, chantons le Rédempteur,
Noël, Noël, chantons le Rédempteur!

Snack Time!

I'm totally addicted to BNL's children's CD SnackTime! It's been out for a while, but with all of the Steven Page controversy I've avoided downloading it for a while. I really wish that I downloaded it sooner though. . . . I have been playing it during gathering time for all of my classes for the past week and I can't get enough! I love it so much that I even listen to it in the car. . . where there are no children. . . . well except for one child at heart! My job requires me to listen to a lot of children's music , and I do like a lot of the kiddie CD's out there but BNL is by far my fav. It not only appeals to children but to grown-ups too . . . I particularly enjoy all of the Canadiana references:) I highly recommend Snacktime for anyone with children . . . or without .. . who says that you need children to have fun and enjoy some great music:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIkqEF2Mvc8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPh_6_u98tI

Oh Poop!

My car has recently become a fowl public washroom!!! Lately my car seems to be attracting bird poop. I'm not talking about 1 or 2 random droppings either - My car is covered with over 20 bird poop splats! The kind that not even a good car wash can get out. Not sure if it's where I've been parking or if the birds have a bone to pick with me. I am certainly not happy about it -it's almost as though my car has a sign on it that says "poop here".

My dad found this video though and has offered to install the anti-poop device on my vehicle- so I plan to have a poopless car very soon! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ii7-q7DWdQ