Sick

I'm sooo sick of being sick. It seems almost unreal the amount of viruses I've had since September. After spending another weekend fighting off my 8 or 9th cold of the season, which immediately followed a horrible stomach flu (1 of 3), I've just had it. I'm so frustrated that I just want to give up on everything. . . no point trying to be healthy because it clearly doesn't make a difference - nothing works and I've tried it all. I'm so tired of having to pretend that I'm not sick by forcing my way through a day of teaching even though I feel achy, feverish, stuffed up and in a daze. I'm tired of spending my hard earned money on advil, neocitron, cough syrup and cold fx. I'm tired of not being able to enjoy my days off because most of them are spent trying to recoup. And I'm tired of losing money because I have to call in sick so that I can spend an intimate day with my toilet. . . . I feel so ungrateful anytime I complain because my health could be way worse, I think of those who are truly suffering and my minor viruses seem like rays of sunshine in comparison. I suppose my only option is to endure . . . and hope that this is it.

sometimes.

Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me and not with others.
Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with others and not with me.
- Perhaps that's what's wrong with me.

Family Sunday

Today was such a great day. It was one of reminiscing back to my childhood and secretly I felt just as exuberant as I did when I was a little girl. My Dad took Julia and I tobogganing - ok I went along so that Bapa didn't have to go up and down the hill, but as I played in the cold crisp air and made snow angels I felt like a kid again. I really felt like that little girl who would go zipping down the hill on the sno jet back in the '80's - kind of helped that we used our old sno jet toboggan today. Afterwards we came home for a nostalgic dinner. My Mom made her special sweet and sour spare ribs, which I haven't had since I don't know when, but used to love them when I was a kid. After dinner I couldn't help but smile and remember how fun my Dad is, as I watched Bapa giving Julia a horsey ride - something he used to do when Jen and I were little and we used to love it. I really enjoy our family Sundays!!

My New Recorder

It's no secret that it doesn't take much to excite me to no end. Right now I'm pretty darn excited about my brand new recorder. I got it before Christmas, because I'll be teaching recorder this term and needed one for home to do my prep work. I haven't really had time to play it until now. Why am I so excited you ask? Because it's not your ordinary plastic recorder. Mine is pink and sparkly and it's super sassy!!!! It's so fuchsia pink that it's almost red. It was cheap (mind you I get an educator discount), it came with a matching pink case and a notation chart and did I mention that it's pink and sparkly!! Yup, teaching recorder is going to be fun fun fun!! It's a shame that the kids get stuck with the boring cream coloured ones. Too bad, so sad:( Did I mention that mine is pink and sparkly :)

Said and Done

So, sometimes . . . ok, most of the time I don't say exactly what I mean to say to people. I water my thoughts down, edit my words, and try not to fully bombard people with my feelings. Well yesterday, it so happened that by accident an unedited e-mail conversation between my friend and I was sent to someone who I ordinarily would re-edit and re-edit my exact words to . . . the conversation was actually about telling the accidental addressee what I was thinking and I was trying to get this person's e-mail address. . . so I would have shared my thoughts, just not in such a blatantly honest way.
Once I discovered that this person was now fully aware of my un-edited thoughts I was embarrassed. It revealed a real vulnerability and weakness of mine in a true unaltered light. . . . I was certainly not ready to be so vulnerable with such a person.
As I thought about it more. . .perhaps full blown honesty was exactly what was needed to get my point across. I really shouldn't be embarrassed, but am - and now it all comes down to pride.

Panera Bread

Christmas morning came early for me today cause I discovered that Panera Bread has finally come to Canada . . . . Aaaaaaaaaaah!! I could hear the angels singing. I was seriously so excited!! I didn't stop today because of the snow, but you can bet that I'll be having lunch at Panera over the holidays. It was my favourite restaurant while living in IN. Once a month I'd head to Fort Wayne or South Bend and treat myself to a yummy lunch at Panera. I always wondered why it hadn't come to Canada yet. . . but it's here!!!! I feel like I just unwrapped the bestest Christmas gift!!

BYOB

So I told Julia that we will be having a sleep over on Christmas. I told her that it'll be soo much fun cause Auntie will be sharing her bed. She looked at me with a worried look on her face and said, "Oh . . . Ok . . . I'll sleep here and you'll sleep there . . ." She then looked at me very sternly and said "but Auntie you have to bring your own bear!" :)