Turn your eyes upon Jesus

"Don't let your feelings dictate your faith!" - Dr.James MacDonald

That statement has been ringing in my head this week big time. It's hard to describe the emotional roller coaster I've been on since I got the call last Fri from Dr. Kavanaugh about the CPAF internship. I've gone from feeling completely relieved , to feeling so sad about who and what I'm going to miss while I'm away. From feeling complete excitement and joy about finally having an opportunity to take a significant step towards doing what I've always dreamed of to feeling terrified and anxious about taking such a risk. From feeling completely confident about what this is all about to feeling insecure about what others may think. From feeling as though I'm on this journey with the support of so many people to feeling as though I'm completely alone in all this.

But, when I turn my eyes upon Jesus all those insecurities melt away. No matter how I feel, my eyes will stay focused on Him.

Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! Heb 12:2-3 (msg)

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

look full in His wonderful face,

and the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

in the light of His glory and grace."

I heart jeeks

Dr. Lee is such a character. Always quite energetic storming through the clinic like a tornado and joking with us. He's got a cute little Cantonese accent. Today our summer student was wearing an "I love geeks" t-shirt (not exactly the ideal fertility clinic outfit, but it was casual friday so it was ok.) So Dr.Lee goes up to Sukhi and reads her tee shirt and then says in his loud 'I want the entire clinic to hear me' voice:

"why does your t-shirt say I love Jeeks? Your t-shirt should say I am Jeek!! ha ha ha!!"

It was so cute, he said "Jeek" instead of "Geek".

Tee Hee!! :)

Don't worry Dr.Lee, I really don't get the I love Jeeks t-shirt trend either. I myself am particularly fond of Jeeks, but I don't see the point of wearing a t-shirt declaring it to the world. Is it to let the Jeeks of the world know that they are loved? Or is it to give them the confidence to approach you? Or is it just cool to love jeeks? Those t-shirts are definitely an interesting trend. Perhaps I'm just too jeeky to get it :)

anxiety

I'm one who has always struggled with anxiety. Anxiety used to paralyze me. Often I would go weeks on end without any sleep, worrying all night long. I'd find my stomach to constantly be in knots and as a result was often miserable. Since putting my faith in Christ, it has gotten a lot better but every so often something huge comes around and I find myself worrying about details. My thinking reverts back to the days when I believed that I was actually in control of everything.

This week in particular with all that is now on my plate as I prepare to head to Indiana in Sept, I've had to constantly detour my worrying frame of mind to focus on the faithfulness of God. After all that God has done for me in my life, the way He has proven His faithfulness time and time again, I should have no reason to struggle so much with worrying. But somehow those anxious thoughts manage to creep in.

So here I find myself yet again making war with my own unbelief or as John Piper would say "Fighting for Faith in future grace." AAAAA!!! Am I ever going to have enough faith in Him to give up all this worrying? It's such a waste of time and energy!!!!!

The Cure for Anxiety Matt 6:25-34

"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?
"And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!"
"Do not worry then, saying,- 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Where You lead me

A new journey has begun.

Time to get up and follow.

WHERE YOU LEAD ME
What is life? A thousand roads a thousand ways
and why am I so afraid to move?
I crossed the line, I'm stepping out, so come what may.
I'll give it all cause I'm drawn to you.
As long as my heart is beating

Where you lead me I will follow
where you lead me, I'll give my life away.
Where you lead me, I will follow
Forever and a day.

I can't deny Your very presence is my life.
And why would I ever turn away?
Cause deep inside I know that I can not rely
on anything less than faith.
As long as my heart is beating .
This is all I'm dreaming of
To live completely in Your love.

Where you lead me, I will follow.
Where you lead me, I'll give my life away.
Where you lead me, I will follow
Forever and a day.

- Mercy Me ( from CD Undone)

Cutie Pie

Julia can now wave "hi" and "bye bye".

To her it's "aaaaa"and "ba ba"

It's sooo adorable.

Those 2 little bottom teeth are way too cute.

Julia loves being photographed. She has somehow learned how to pose for the camera and honestly Auntie Diva had nothing to do with it. Must be a natural Diva reflex :).

This is my one of my favorite Julia photos.

Her teeny feet are so sweet and the baby chub on her arms and legs is just irresistible.

I never could have imagined how much I would enjoy being Auntie Diva. I just love Julia to pieces and so does our entire family. She's so much fun!! Her life is really quite simple yet we find so much joy in sharing in the little things . I'm honestly finding my parents to be just as amusing as Julia. They just can't get enough of their granddaughter and it's really cute. The other day my Mom and I were in the kitchen chatting away and out of nowhere and completely off topic she just blurted out excitedly "Isn't Julia so cute!!". And Daddy, well he's just so funny. Anytime he comes home from a visit with Julia he gives me the entire play by play of the action for the evening: " and then she sat. and then she clapped. and then she played. and then she walked. and then she ate peas. and then she yawned. and then she pooped. and then she said "Hi grandpa my name is Julia Andrea Pelitis and I am an extremely brilliant child who speaks in full sentences at the very young age of nine months." (Grandpa has a tendency to exaggerate a bit :)

Whenever I'm having a blah day, all it takes is a visit to see my petite protégé to put a smile on my face. I wish I could see her everyday. Julia is such a beautiful blessing.

a croc of ugliness

As Diva, I feel that it is my responsibility to make an official statement about the latest shoe trend that seems to be catching on like wild fire - Crocs. All I really have to say is ick!!!!

Jen is trying to convince me that they are the most comfortable shoes on the planet. Now that would seem to be an ok excuse coming from a nurse who knows what it's like to be on her feet for 3 consecutive 12hr shifts, but she's not wearing them as a nurse - she's still on mat leave and has been seen wearing them on the street . . . like in public!!!! Can we say Nasty!!! And to make the nightmare even more terrifying she's on a mission to find a baby sized pair for the Little Diva!!!!!

Now that is where I have to put my foot down (my dainty pretty foot that is only worthy of sparkle, satin and fine leather shoes, of course :) It's ok if the rest of my family wants to gallivant around town in their rubber clogs looking ridiculously horrible, but the crocs stop there - It's unacceptable for my petite protégé to have to be subjected to this hideous fashion trend, even if she does just wear them "around the house".

I'm sorry but it is a diva's duty to say "no" to the hideous trendy trends that will make us look back and wonder what on earth we were thinking!!!!. Those shoes just scream "fashion faux pas" with all the holes , clunk, and horrible plastic rainbow colours sans glitter or anything sprakley .

Don't worry Julia, Auntie Diva will save you from those horrible predators to the fashion world- if it's the last thing I do!!! I'll track em down, wrangle them up and throw them into a deep pit never to be seen again. Just call me the Croc Hunter - CRIKEY!!!!!

still waiting . . .

Come For Me

Jesus come take me away, I long to see Your face
This world is broken yet beautifully made,
Jesus come take me away.

Jesus I’ll patiently wait, until like a vapor I’ll fade
Help me fulfill all your dreams for these days,
and Jesus I’ll patiently wait.

You’ll come again with a shout,
like a thief in the night you’ll come riding on clouds
and Finally the voice I have followed for life
has a glorious face that is lit up with light
And you’ll come for me, no more pain - peace,
No more fear - release
just lost and consumed with my glorious King.

Jesus today I am tired, and I need your music to come and inspire
and I give myself to be refined in this fire,
but Jesus today I’m so tired.

You’ll come again with a shout,

like a thief in the night you’ll come riding on clouds

and Finally the voice I have followed for life

has a glorious face that is lit up with light

And you’ll come for me, no more pain- peace,

No more fear - release

just lost and consumed with my glorious King,

and you'll come for me.

come for me.

Music & lyrics - Charlie Hall (from CD Flying into Daybreak)

Today it was this simple song so beautifully stated with imagery of Christ's return, that reminded me of what it is that I am truly waiting for. I wait with eager anticipation for the day He will come for me. I will not and can not sit idling my life away knowing that this promise is everything I am waiting for.

What a glorious day it will be - worth the wait indeed.

"For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever."

1 Thessalonians 4:16-17